It’s been 12 full months since I hugged him goodbye at Brisbane International Airport. I must have taken a mental picture of that moment because I can feel that hug and can still see him standing there. Four days later the world closed down due to COVID-19 and there was no way I could go back to Australia. Since then, we have learned so much about being in a long-distance relationship.
I want to tell you all about what we have learned. Because stories like this have helped us a lot during this period and I would love it if ours can help you.
But first, let me introduce us.
“Hey long time stranger, wanna have drinks some time?” Two months after meeting in a bar and on and off texting, he finally asked me out. We both weren’t looking for a relationship, but we were both relatively new to Brisbane and Australia. Anyone who’s tried moving to a new city or country, can tell you that it can be lonely. You are always on the look out for new friends. So, we went out and over beer and chicken wings we talked and talked and talked.
That both of us were not looking for a relationship when we met, has probably been the best thing for our current relationship. The difference was that we were completely honest with each other. We didn’t want to impress the other person, we just wanted to have someone to go to a movie with.
To this day that basically hasn’t changed. We’re not together because we really want to be in a relationship. Even though we are at the age that society tells us we should be in one. We are together because we want to hang out with each other more than with anyone else. It’s as simple as that.
I think all relationships come to a point where you have to make difficult decisions. For us that was when my visa was running out and I wanted to switch employer. I won’t bore you with the details, but long story short, I wasn’t able to switch. So we talked to a lawyer and the most rational decision was for me to move to the Netherlands for six months. During that time Logan would have finished school and I could come back as a dependent on his new visa. Perfect! Six months was going to be tough, but doable. We saw it as an investment for our future and a great test. Besides, we could travel and see each other during those six months. Right?
All of that changed when corona hit and Australia’s borders closed. It still was the best decision and it still is an investment. And God knows this situation has tested us. But we couldn’t come visit each other. We couldn’t plan when we would hug again. That made things more difficult than we ever imagined.
At times hope was fragile and heartbreak and doubts dominated the conversations. Most times though, we’d still talk like we did on that first date. We discovered ways to be intimate over the phone (sorry mom and dad) and most of all, we have learned to communicate like champions.
There is hope
Right now, it’s been 365 days since we last hugged each other and we have no idea when we’ll be together again. With vaccinations started in both the Netherlands and Australia, talks about resuming international traveling has started as well. It gives hope that in the not-too-distant future, I can replace that mental image of our last hug with that of our first. Can’t wait.
In the meantime, I will share our struggles, triumphs and tips and tricks with you. Check out my bi-weekly blog about my/our experiences in a long-distance relationship during corona times.
In my next post I will write about Love languages. What if you and your partner speak a different love language? How do you make sure both of you feel loved?
See you soon!
P.S. I’m curious to know what you think of this post. And if you are in a long-distance relationship as well, I’d love to hear your story!